Monday, May 12, 2014
Sh*t Women Say
I usually link up monthly for Sh*t Men Say and was excited when I heard things were getting switched up to hear all the crazy sh*t women say. I don't have the hubby doing this by recalling some dumb stuff I am sure I have said but rather I am going to share some real humdingers that have been said to me by women.
* I was working with a new girl at my old job and was helping her invoice a client. The client's bill was $15 and the client handed newbie a twenty dollar bill. She just sat there for a minute looking really dumbfounded. After about ten seconds I took the twenty from her and opened the drawer and gave the guy his $5 change. She then looked at me and said: "I really son't do math." WTF? We might have a problem then. I told her she could use a calculator if she needs to and she says, wait for it..." sooo....do I like subbtract the little number from the big number?" Yes, genius, yes. Needless to say, she only lasted about a week.
* Then there was this one time I was on line at the post office the day after having my hair dyed blonde. I overheard two girls on line behind me saying, "Her hair looks good, it looks so natural." I turned to them and they complimented my hair and I said thank you but then one of the girls says: "I like really like it. I hate when girls dye their hair blonde and it has that little bit of black at top. So not natural." Yeah.....they're called roots, the only reason I don't have any is because my hair was done yesterday. Sigh....
* I was at a McDonald's in the city and the girl who was taking my order said to me: "Oh my God, your eyes are so gorgeous. Are they real?" Ummm....yes, the last time I checked. I mean I have vision and all.
As you can see we cannot just pin all the dumbass sh*t on the men. Women can come up with some pretty stupid sh*t as well. What are some silly things another women has said to you? Or better yet, have you said anything embarrassing? xoxo
Don't Burst My Bubble
I still believe in following my dreams, although, I am 32 years old. It's never too late to create the life you always wanted. "Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." -- Earl Nightingale
I still believe in true love, although, there are rough times (extreme at times) some people choose to work through them and strengthen their bond. Not everyone runs to get divorced the second their relationship isn't going the way they imagined.
I believe that some people can really communicate with the other side. I am sure there are more hacks than those with a true gift but I believe some people possess that gift and I can communicate with all those I have lost.
I believe that the best is still ahead of me. It would be truly depressing to believe my best years are behind me. I have had some incredible moments in my life already but I believe that there are more to come.
I believe that there are still good people in this world. I believe not everybody is solely determined to only do what will benefit them. There are still people who love to help others.
I believe that the rigid stereotype of beauty will be broken. I think we are making small strides in that direction but I hope that one day not only the skinny girls will feel beautiful but that all girls will feel beautiful and secure in their own skin. One day everyone will realize (conventional) beauty eventually fades but a beautiful soul will always shine.
What do you believe?? xoxo
Thursday, May 8, 2014
5 Things That Irk Me...
It's a rainy day here on Long Island so I figured I would share a few things that I am not fond of in this world. Hey, why not, right?!
1 - The Pringles Container. How is my chubby man hand supposed to grab chips when the container is half empty? Gosh, I have difficulty when the container is almost full. Sheesh! Although, perfectly shaped potato chips are pretty cool.
2 - People who are perpetually late and better yet those who use the excuse that they have babies or toddlers as the reason. Before all you mommies jump down my throat, I am a mom to an extremely stubborn 2 year old so I get it. I unfortunately have to start getting ready an hour before I used to to ensure being on time. That being said sometimes, something happens like a spit up accident while we are running out the door or whatever and we're late. It's ok, once in a while, that's not what bothers me, it's the people who use it as an excuse EVERY time. Plan ahead for these mishaps people.
3 - Unorganized lines. Yes, I think I may have a touch of OCD. I can wait forever on a line if it's organized, best with ropes and things because I know there is some sort of order and people are being taken care of in the correct order. I hate when I go into a crowded deli, for example, and there are crowds of people everywhere with no obvious line. Where do I go? Once I figure it out it gets frustrating because in these sort of situations lots of people use this opportunity to cut the line and jump ahead. Dirt bags!
4 - People who think the world is out to get them. You know these people. They are always crying "woe is me." and have it so much worse than everyone else. We all have our own hardships and battles, each of which are difficult in their own unique way. Shut up already and try to be positive at least once in a while. Don't get me wrong we all, myself included, have our pity party days but come on people do you have to throw that party every day.
5 - Fitting rooms with bad lighting and horrible mirrors. Okay, so I know it's not the lighting or the mirror that's making me look fat, it's the fact that I cannot resist a piece of cake or a bag of chips but some lighting is just more flattering than others. And we all know that there are some mirrors we look so much better in. Retail big wigs: we will buy more when we are happy with how we look. Have the best lighting and those "skinny" mirrors in your fitting rooms or else we leave frustrated in tears. This is a no brainer. Skinny feeling customers buy more! Period.
What are some things that irk you? Would love to know!! xoxo
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Parking Lot Wars
Parking lots are a battlefield. I have been in more fender benders in parking lots than I have on the actual road and my blood has boiled over more times than I care to remember all while trying to park at my favorite store, the mall or the grocery store. What the heck people?! What is the problem?!
Let's start with my two parking lot fender benders. First one, my hubby and I were leaving the supermarket. We were driving straight in the main lane to get to the road out of the parking lot. I saw an old vehicle coming towards the main lane from one of the parking aisles. The car was going super slow so I didn't think anything of it. But he didn't stop, he just rolled right into my husband and I. My hubby jumped out of the car screaming expletives and ready to fight when an old man who had to be almost 90 can out of his car shaking and smelling like he literally peed himself. We didn't have any damage despite the loud boom the impact caused so my husband let it go and we went on our merry way.
My second parking lot accident happened in the Target parking lot around Christmas time. I was also about 8 months pregnant at the time. I was the second car in line to pull out of the parking lot onto the main road. You are only suppose to make rights out of this exit and the car in front of me had it's left blinker on. Whatever, it was late at night and barely any traffic. They went and I pulled up to the stop sign. Meanwhile, I guess they changed their mind and thought they didn't have enough time to make turn (I don't know. It didn't make much sense.) and they flew into reverse and backed right up into my car. I came out of my car like a maniac and a teenage girl, who probably just got her license got out of the other car. She saw my very pregnant belly and had an automatic meltdown and burst into tears and kept saying: "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Luckily I was fine and looked at my front bumper. Only a little scratch. I just told her: "Be careful next time." and let it go.
These mini fender benders aren't even the true treacherousness in parking lots but rather the fact that everyone's road rage seems amplified while hunting down the perfect spot. People become ruthless and honestly I just don't get it. They'll be a car on each side with it's blinker on waiting for a car to pull out of a spot and then it's a game of chicken to see who swipes it first. But what really makes me laugh is that there's a bunch of spots about 5 spots down. Was getting 25 feet closer to the store that beneficial and worth the standoff? Personally, I cannot be bothered and park wherever there is an open spot no matter how far it is. Not to mention, I try to get in little bits of exercise whenever I can.
Another reason for me parking far away is that my spot isn't desirable when I go to leave. I cannot stand, I repeat, I CANNOT stand when people are waiting in their cars for me to back out of my spot. I am sorry I just shopped at the mall, have tons of bags, have a toddler to put in a car seat and a stroller to fold up and try to fit in my messy trunk. Then you can see them huffing and puffing with impatience. The best is when they honk. I just want to say find another spot and put your legs to f-ing work, A-hole!
I think my best parking lot moment happened a few weeks ago. I was driving on the parking lot road right in front of the stores and had stop at a crosswalk because there was a bunch of people looking to cross over the road. That's what your supposed to do right? Well apparently the truck behind me wasn't paying attention and almost slams into me and proceeds to speed around me and almost hit the people in the crosswalk. Not to mention, get ready for it, gives me the finger! Wait, what? To make matters worse we end up in the same store. It's like hello b*tch you were in that much of a hurry to go to Old Navy, It's not like you were hauling a$$ to a hospital. It took every bit of strength not to confront this trash but I refrained.
So I cannot be the only who loathes parking lots, what are some things that have happened to you while innocently trying to park? Until next time, be careful out there! xoxo
Monday, May 5, 2014
Where Have All The Craft Fairs Gone?
Yesterday, I set up and sold my jewelry, some jewelry boxes and flower halos at the Lindenhurst Spring Festival. Needless to say, I was underwhelmed and disappointed. Not even in my sales, although that wasn't quite what I was hoping, but rather in the whole experience and with the vendors at the event. More about that in a bit.
First of all the weather left something to be desired. It was overcast and super windy. I had the cutest idea for my table display but every time I got things set up a huge gust of wind would come and blow it all down. A few times even my wooden jewelry boxes got blown clear off the table. This was a major downer to me because I had all these plans of having the best display ever and taking wonderful Pinterest perfect photos. Yep...Well obviously that didn't happen. I am about to set up the table in my backyard later to get the photos I wanted but then I think I'll seem kind of crazy.
I know this was a street festival, not a craft fair, but I expected to see more handmade items. Every other booth was a bank or insurance company looking to make sales. The rest of the booths were either direct sales salespeople such as Scentsy, or stuff made in China. I honestly think I was the only booth that had handcrafted items. This says it all, a women came over to my table and looked at my stuff and asked if I made it all. I told her yes and she responded: "Oh my God. That's amazing. I've never seen anything like this." I was flattered but it was actually kind of sad. I have found that most of the so called craft fairs fairs I have done on Long Island aren't really crafts at all and that truly disappoints me. I know of a couple true arts and crafts fairs but it costs like $500 to be a vendor and with my price point it isn't worth it. Me having a great day would only cover the table.
I wish I was down south or in the midwest. It seems like you guys have some amazing arts and crafts shows. I think I would do so well elsewhere. I would love to find a farmers market with crafts and things to do every weekend but they don't really exist here. There are farmers markets but they are really just food. UGH..I wish I had a huge barn with tons of property to host my own. One can dream, right?!
Any fellow Long Islanders know of any true arts and crafts shows? And to my friends all over the country does your town or area have some amazing fairs? I would love to hear about them!! xoxo
| My helpers for the day! |
Friday, May 2, 2014
Wacky Keywords Here I Come
So I've always been a little jealous when some of my fellow bloggers do posts of the crazy and ridiculous keywords that lead people to their blogs. These posts are usually hilarious and leave me thinking what the hell?! PENIS! Anyway, I have never had many interesting keyword searches that lead people to my blog and that had me wondering, am I boring? VAGINA! I really hope that isn't the case because I certainly don't want to be a dull blogger. HOOKER!
The craziest thing that ever brought someone to my blog was "two red hens coop." Huh?! I know I never wrote about hens and I don't think I have ever even written about a farm so this perplexes me but I'll take it. KELLY CLARKSON! I was a bit proud that "pretty girl selfies" brought a few people to my blog. I did do a post back a while back with some other bloggers about selfie tips so at least this makes sense and at least it wasn't "ugly girl selfies" because then I think I would have wanted to crawl in a hole and die. GIVE IT TO ME BABY. UH HUH. UH HUH.
So I am curious, what are some of the keywords or phrases that brought readers to your page? DONKEY! Are you blessed with an array of strange and interesting words worth talking about or are you boring like myself? PRINCE CHARMING! If you have entertaining stats please share because I could always use a good laugh.
Anyways, hopefully these little outbursts help me to have something worth writing about next time. I will definitely keep you posted. SUCK IT! xoxo
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Mega Ad Space Giveaway
Looking to grow your blog?! One way in which I have grown my blog is through sponsoring some amazing bloggers. The only down side to this kind of promotion is it can get a little hard on the wallet. So this is where the good news comes in.
I have teamed up with Simply Clarke and 24 other bloggers to bring you a MEGA Ad Space Giveaway. One winner will win 25 ad spaces on 25 different blogs for the month! That means a ton of exposure for your blog, FREE. On top of that, we tried to make it super easy to enter, so all of the links are Facebook pages. Enter below to win and make sure to thank all the lovely co-hosts - Good Luck!
If you are looking to get sponsoring now, I am offering 50% OFF all ad spaces with code: DANCE .
Also, use promo code SIMPLY20 to get 20% off ANY SIZE ad space on Simply Clarke.
I have teamed up with Simply Clarke and 24 other bloggers to bring you a MEGA Ad Space Giveaway. One winner will win 25 ad spaces on 25 different blogs for the month! That means a ton of exposure for your blog, FREE. On top of that, we tried to make it super easy to enter, so all of the links are Facebook pages. Enter below to win and make sure to thank all the lovely co-hosts - Good Luck!
If you are looking to get sponsoring now, I am offering 50% OFF all ad spaces with code: DANCE .
Also, use promo code SIMPLY20 to get 20% off ANY SIZE ad space on Simply Clarke.
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The Everyday Joys | Daily
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Danielle Faith | Medium
LIVE with Crystal | Standard
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Boston Sweet Tea Party | 150x150
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