Monday, October 6, 2014

End The Mommy Wars

 I read some mommy blog posts on occasion. Some about the lack of respect stay at home moms receive and some about the difficulty of working full time and being a mom and all the posts usually make valid points but what is disappointing is the comments. The insults going back and forth between stay at home moms and working mothers. It's insane. Let's just admit that both sides are extremely difficult and support each other. Each side may present different difficulties but difficulties none the less. All moms deserve respect because we are all fighting a battle to be the best parent we can be despite our circumstances.

I am the mom a 2-1/2 year old difficult toddler (aren't they all.) I have both worked and stayed home in that time and neither is easy. Currently, I work at an office two days a week which I desperately need for adult interaction and I also work from home, which is a completely different ball game. Being a successful business owner with loads of work to get done while trying to appease your toddler with her tantrums and demands is definitely no fun. But that is a whole other post in and of itself.

Stay at home moms, working moms, work from home moms all have this need to say why the other parties have it easier or what the other parties are doing wrong. Stay at home moms will ask working mothers how they can let someone else raise their child. Working moms will tell stay at home moms they want to teach their daughters they can be more than a wife and mother. Stay at home moms will tell working moms how nice it must be to have adult interaction and have lunch and time to yourself. Working moms will comment how nice it must be to be able to get things done during the day. Let's just get down to it. It's all crap. Here's why.

Do you really think working mothers like the fact that they aren't with their child all day? Do you really think that all women who stay home are uneducated and aren't going to provide the best education for their child? Do you really think working moms enjoy their lunch time at work? I bet they are checking in on their kids at daycare or running errands they cannot do during the day. Do you really think stay at home moms have free time during the day? My daughter stopped napping at 1 so no break there. And free time? No they are feeding, changing, playing with their child the things working moms pay someone to do. Unless you are paying someone to do nothing all day.

Those comments above are not my views but just a few of the insulting statements I see in the comments of mommy blogs. It's all crap. Stay at home moms, working moms, work from home moms all deserve respect.  All positions are difficult. As I stated earlier they are difficult in different ways but all difficult. On those particularly hard days the grass can always seem a little greener but it hardly ever is. If we all supported each other things would be a lot easier and there would be no needs for mom to write posts justifying the type of mom they are. We are all doing what is best for our own particular family situation. Isn't that enough?


  1. Thank you for this post! I am a working mom. I went back to work when my son was 7 weeks old. It killed my soul to do it but I didn't have a choice. It was even harder for me because at the time I was in a very bad marriage and a job that I was very unhappy in (cried on the way to work every day). Fast forward a few years I am still a working mom. I am in a much better marriage and have a job/career that I love so much it isn't normal! That said, I still struggle with guilt about not being able to drive on every field trip. I have guilt about the fact that I love my job and can't imagine not doing it even when we expand our family. Being a woman in the world is hard even if you aren't a mom. It blows my mind that we won't just support each other. Life is hard enough as it is ladies!

  2. YES. I am a part time employee and stay home the other days. Honestly, both situations are dificult. Being a mom is difficult, period! I hate the judgement because no one knows what is best for your family but YOU. Thanks for sharing!

  3. How about moms just do what works best for them and their children? Every family is unique and different.

  4. This is just amazing! I really love that you wrote this. I'm a working mom, but I was out of work for a little over a month in June this year, so I know stay at home moms have it just as tough! There's a LOT to being a mom and you're right- the mommy wars need to stop! We need to just support each other. GREAT post!

  5. I think of all people, mom bloggers should be understandable to people's situations. I work full-time outside of the home but have tons of respect for SAHM moms too. Being a mommy is a tough job, however you do it.