Wednesday, April 29, 2015

6 Things I've Learned From CSI and Law & Order

I have an unhealthy obsession with crime shows. Currently binge watching CSI and Law & Order: SVU. I feel like I've learned so much through these shows. Here's a short list of a few lessons I've learned.  And I have a feeling there will be more lists coming soon.

1- Apparently you can murder someone and not spend your entire life in prison.
Don't worry your pretty little heads I would never kill anyone, the thought never crosses my mind but apparently the consequences aren't as severe as you are made to believe when growing up. I was made to think that if you killed someone you would either get the death penalty or spend your entire life in prison. In these shows depending on the circumstances and your priors you can do only a few years or get out on probation. Many an episode is about a released convict who goes back to their bad ways. How are these "f-ers" getting out?

2- It's easy to get away with murder.
No murder weapon? No body? Hard to put someone away under those circumstances. Of course the CSIs always find a way but it's with crazy testing which I've learned a lot of "that testing" doesn't even exist in real life. Study these shows and how criminals get away before committing your next crime. Joking...I'm joking...

3- Never let anyone in your home.
Don't just open the door without looking at who is out there. So many times on these shows the victim just opens the door without seeing who is out there. People will just open the door for someone with a black mask (because they didn't look) or perps are often dressed as utility workers or even cops. Talk to all these folks through the door until you without a doubt can be sure they are who they say.

4- When attacked, scratch and yank the hair out of that "mo-fo."
If I am murdered that son of a "b" is going to prison. I'm getting their DNA under my nails and having hair chunks in my hand all ready for the CSIs.

5- Never stop for the "dead" or injured body in the middle of the road in the middle of nowhere.
This trick has been used by criminals on several shows. They lay in the middle of the road and the unsuspecting housewife gets out of the car to see if the "victim" is alright and next thing they know they are the ones being abducted or carjacked at gunpoint. Call the cops but don't investigate yourself.

6- When you have the upper hand, make sure your attacker is down for the count.
This is referring to those victims who manage to get free, grab a pip or whatever and hit their attacker who then falls to the ground. The victims almost always make the biggest mistake here and just run. NOOO!! Finish the f-in job once they are down keep hitting them with that pipe until you know they aren't getting up for a very long time if not ever. If you don't they'll be back on their feet in seconds and get you!

There you have it. Some very important info whether you are a criminal or potential victim. You're welcome! What have these shows taught you?


  1. Haha love this list. I didn't realize how ridiculous some of this show is when ya really look at it. Love it though!

  2. Seriously, why does getting away with murder seem so easy in CSI? hahaha

  3. It seems like getting away with murder is quite simply put...easy. Who knew??

  4. I binge watch Law and Order (Especially SVU) and recently Criminal Minds and NCIS. Man, the amount of things I've learned on these shows. I always ponder why someone like Olivia Benson would want to stay in a job that's so dangerous and outrageous 99% of the time.

  5. It's really sad how accurate those sentences are. It's actually fairly uncommon for someone to get the death penalty or life in prison without parole for murder.