Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Parking Lot Wars

Parking lots are a battlefield. I have been in more fender benders in parking lots than I have on the actual road and my blood has boiled over more times than I care to remember all while trying to park at  my favorite store, the mall or the grocery store. What the heck people?! What is the problem?!

Let's start with my two parking lot fender benders. First one, my hubby and I were leaving the supermarket. We were driving straight in the main lane to get to the road out of the parking lot. I saw an old vehicle coming towards the main lane from one of the parking aisles. The car was going super slow so I didn't think anything of it. But he didn't stop, he just rolled right into my husband and I. My hubby jumped out of the car screaming expletives and ready to fight when an old man who had to be almost 90 can out of his car shaking and smelling like he literally peed himself. We didn't have any damage despite the loud boom the impact caused so my husband let it go and we went on our merry way.

My second parking lot accident happened in the Target parking lot around Christmas time. I was also about 8 months pregnant at the time. I was the second car in line to pull out of the parking lot onto the main road. You are only suppose to make rights out of this exit and the car in front of me had it's left blinker on. Whatever, it was late at night and barely any traffic. They went and I pulled up to the stop sign. Meanwhile, I guess they changed their mind and thought they didn't have enough time to make turn (I don't know. It didn't make much sense.) and they flew into reverse and backed right up into my car. I came out of my car like a maniac and a teenage girl, who probably just got her license got out of the other car. She saw my very pregnant belly and had an automatic meltdown and burst into tears and kept saying: "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Luckily I was fine and looked at my front bumper. Only a little scratch. I just told her: "Be careful next time." and let it go.

These mini fender benders aren't even the true treacherousness in parking lots but rather the fact that everyone's road rage seems amplified while hunting down the perfect spot. People become ruthless and honestly I just don't get it. They'll be a car on each side with it's blinker on waiting for a car to pull out of a spot and then it's a game of chicken to see who swipes it first. But what really makes me laugh is that there's a bunch of spots about 5 spots down. Was getting 25 feet closer to the store that beneficial and worth the standoff? Personally, I cannot be bothered and park wherever there is an open spot no matter how far it is. Not to mention, I try to get in little bits of exercise whenever I can.

Another reason for me parking far away is that my spot isn't desirable when I go to leave. I cannot stand, I repeat, I CANNOT stand when people are waiting in their cars for me to back out of my spot. I am sorry I just shopped at the mall, have tons of bags, have a toddler to put in a car seat and a stroller to fold up and try to fit in my messy trunk. Then you can see them huffing and puffing with impatience. The best is when they honk.  I just want to say find another spot and put your legs to f-ing work, A-hole!

I think my best parking lot moment happened a few weeks ago. I was driving on the parking lot road right in front of the stores and had stop at a crosswalk because there was a bunch of people looking to cross over the road. That's what your supposed to do right? Well apparently the truck behind me wasn't paying attention and almost slams into me and proceeds to speed around me and almost hit the people in the crosswalk. Not to mention, get ready for it, gives me the finger! Wait, what? To make matters worse we end up in the same store. It's like hello b*tch you were in that much of a hurry to go to Old Navy, It's not like you were hauling a$$ to a hospital. It took every bit of strength not to confront this trash but I refrained.

So I cannot be the only who loathes parking lots, what are some things that have happened to you while innocently trying to park? Until next time, be careful out there! xoxo


  1. ahhh i'm so with you! i swear everytime i'm in a parking lot, i'm nearly in an accident because people drive like such garbage. drives me crazy. one time, a woman was still literally in the middle of the aisle and i honked because i couldn't get by her (going in the opposite direction). i parked and she apparently waited me and drove around, rolled down her window and said "i hope you're happy with yourself!" huh??? people are nuts!

  2. I've never been in a moving accident with my car in a parking lot. It's always nerve wrecking to see how damage will happen to my car while parked though. Like the old lady who hit my old car in our apartment parking lot and didn't leave a note (if you scrape the paint off someone's bumper, you should leave a note). Or on my new car we my husband noticed two mystery scratches. So annoying.


  3. I only stalk people unless I have to. There are certain lots at certain times of the year where that is literally the only way to get a spot-which is ridiculous! Other then that I just roll up to the further out area where I know I can get a spot and walk my legs on in. It's not that hard right!! I let people over and I try to take my time while driving. Impatience is half of what goes into road rage and accidents.

  4. Oh my goodness. That last story... gosh people are idiots. It makes me so angry and I have terrible road rage for careless drivers!

  5. Oh my god... when people try to get my spot at I'm leaving it makes me feel all kinds of STABBY! I'll fucking sit in my car doing NOTHING until they give up and drive away. haha

  6. bahahahha people trying to get your spot when leaving. It never fails. It is the biggest a-hole card that could be played.
    I hattttte it!